Since there's a limit on the number of containers, she's putting more food into me. Sung doesn't cook much himself. He says that he used to, in college, but wasn't very good at it. And even though it's caused some problems in his marriage, he appreciates the way he and his mother are able to connect through her cooking. It hasn't really gotten beyond that. But I'm okay with that. And I think she is too. It's very simple this way.
Almost primal. But it works for us. Sung feels deep empathy for his mother, who he says didn't ever have it easy. And then the gas crisis hit, and he lost everything. We all lost everything. He had to leave, and my mother had to raised three kids by herself for about seven years. I embarked on motherhood with a vision of myself as rational and autonomous.
It was unsettling the least to find myself in this messy, leaky symbiosis with a wholly dependent infant whose cries caused me to lactate and lose the ability to think coherently. I am not saying we should shrug our shoulders at the different ways men and women are treated by society, on the grounds that it is a biological inevitability.
I want rather to suggest that the simplistic picture of sex equality promoted by popular feminism has a motherhood-shaped blind spot and, as such, lets both sexes down.
Ruth Davidson departs to focus on family. That decision is only hers to make | Gaby Hinsliff
Popular depictions of motherhood in our culture tend to go two ways. Motherhood is either an adjunct or obstacle to other more worldly achievements but of no notable value or difficulty in itself, or else it is a pastel-coloured ideal of domesticity cleansed of the blood, milk, excrement and hormone-driven altered states of mind. Left-flavoured liberalism generally ignores the embodied nature of motherhood, and assures us that sexist stereotypes, and those social patterns that conform to sexist stereotypes, are an oppressive creation of the patriarchy designed to keep women from fulfilling our true potential.
The truth, though, is that carrying and nursing children is neither exactly choice nor coercion: it is an animalistic experience that cuts profoundly across the fantasies implicit in liberalism of free, rational individuals for whom liberation means transcending our physiological natures.
- Tying Down the Sun.
- Elwha: A River Reborn.
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This matters. We cannot think politically about the place of family life in society, or indeed about sex equality at all, unless we can look frankly at what motherhood is, rather than at the motherhood-shaped space gestured at by a liberal focus on identities and economics.
What It Means to Write About Motherhood, Part Two
Maternity leave in Britain is far better than in many places but it has been a long time since a political party of either Left or Right dared to suggest that many mothers might want to spend years rather than months at home with their children, and adjust the tax codes accordingly.
Motherhood is a crunch point where the liberal pursuit of individual freedom collides not just with communitarian obligations to others in society, but our very nature as biological creatures, yet for political reasons the ball has been dropped and kicked into a corner by Left and Right. While our mainstream liberal culture pretends that all humans are essentially identical apart from our dangly bits, it will continue to recoil in disgust from the messy reality of motherhood as a deeply animal experience.
Our Mission. Mary Harrington is a writer and political blogger. Filed under: Groupthink Feminism Motherhood paternity leave. So, I often police my vocabulary and pitch and tone. And I wonder if some of the people in the waiting room share that sentiment. Why am I so fascinated with having a child that looks like me or my partner? I feel really bad about not pursuing adoption since I would challenge anyone straight or queer to consider it; I feel like a hypocrite.
A Marvelously Missed Opportunity – Noteworthy - The Journal Blog
So, you and I have two different experiences with that question. Nikki: You were raised by your grandmother and not your mom. How do you think this will influence your parenting? There is no one good way to do it. All I know is that I will be a consistent, transparent, honest and affectionate parent. What about you? How do you think being a daughter of a single mother is going to impact your parenting?
Nikki: I want our children to know that I respect their individuality, decisions, thoughts and emotions as well. Desperately Seeking a Black Sperm Donor. Swimming in the Alphabet Soup of Assisted Fertility.
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- Der Hafen von Kōbe - Aspekte seines Wandels im Zuge der Modernisierung Japans (German Edition).
- Sunday Reading: Motherhood | The New Yorker.